Someone to respond to my four email accounts, manage my Facebook messaging, sync my Google Calendar appointments with my Microsoft Office schedule (the workplace virtual office doesn't integrate those two easily), take out my trash and answer fan mail.
Okay, maybe not so much on that last part.
Life as been one damn cluster after another, both in my professional life and in my civic endeavors. I feel like I'm the guy on the Johnny Carson show trying to keep all of the plates spinning on the spindles.
Thankfully we've had minimal crashing and banging.
Speaking of crashing and banging, my old stomping grounds of Madison, Connecticut is getting ready to be knocked around by none other than Hurricane Irene. My heart goes out to everyone along the Eastern seaboard who's seeking relief from this mighty storm.
Especially seniors and those folks who might not have the means to take appropriate precautions.
Earlier this week, I was asked to come up with a theme song for a program I'm attending next month. For inspiration, I asked my FB friends, "You know how baseball players get to pick the song that plays when they are up to bat? What song would you pick?"
Lots of suggestions came forward, but in light of the current weather developments, perhaps this is the best tune for the moment.
I say this not as a point of braggadocio, but more an exclamation of glee and pure excitement. It's a triumph I trumpet to share with womanhood, to celebrate with others who would appreciate.
Carrie Bradshaw certainly would.
(Full disclosure: I'm not in a position to plunk down $1000 for these tootsies, and am glad I picked them up at Mannequin Boutique on Vine Street for a paltry $144 - 20 percent off the store's original price of $170.)
I posted a pic of the shoes on Facebook this weekend, and several people commented that they looked like the same pair that were stolen from Carrie when she went to a baby shower.
I talked to other folks (including my mother), and they commented that the reduced price tag still seemed pretty extravagant, even if the shoes were a damn good deal.
On a whim, I searched for a YouTube clip of the referenced SATC episode, and found the parallels jarring.
Carrie Bradshaw - on her love of shoes, and the plight of the single woman
Here are the highlights:
Carrie: I have a real life. Kyra: No offense, Carrie, but I really don't think we should have to pay for your extravagant lifestyle. I mean, it was your choice to buy shoes that expensive. Carrie: Yes. But it wasn't my choice to take them off. Kyra: They're just shoes.
*** *** *** Carrie: She's (Kyra) become this whole other person. It's like, she's had two Cesareans and a lobotomy. Miranda: She owes you for those shoes. Carrie: No, it's not about the money. I don't care about the money. I'm talking about a woman's right to shoes. Why'd she have to shame me? Miranda: Because she's trapped in a hell of her own making. Carrie: Hey is it bad that my life is full of shoes, and not children?
*** *** *** Carrie: You know what? I AM Santa. I did a little mental addition, and over the years I have bought Kyra an engagement gift, a wedding gift, then there was the trip to Maine for the wedding. Three baby gifts. In total, I have spent over $2300 celebrating her choices. And she is shaming me for spending a lousy 485 bucks on myself? Yes I did the math. Charlotte: But those are gifts! I mean, if you got married or had a child, she would spend the same on you. Carrie: And if I don't ever get married or have a baby, what? I get bubkis? Think about it. If you are single, after graduation, there isn't one occasion where people celebrate you. Charlotte: We have birthdays! Carrie: Oh, no no no no. We all have birthdays. That doesn't wash. I'm talking about the single gal. Hallmark doesn't make a 'Congratulations! You didn't marry the wrong guy' card. And where's the flatware for going on vacation alone? Charlotte: You're right.
*** *** ***
I've made similar comments before regarding my jewelry. Some of my family members have commented that they think it's odd I buy myself somewhat pricy pieces; I reply by saying that nobody else is buying me nice things.
Whereas some girls are surprised with nice things by boyfriends and husbands, we single girls have to take care of ourselves.
And if that means indulging in a little shoe therapy, so be it.