Thursday, February 04, 2010

Doorbell Ringer

I've never really been afraid of rejection.

When I was little, say, an eight year old girl with a blonde pageboy haircut framing my face, I would hop on my blue Schwinn bike and cruise our neighborhood until I found someone who could play with me.

I'd go from house to house, knocking on doors and ringing door bells until I found a playmate interested in riding bikes, playing dress up, swinging on swings and digging for fossils.

Sometimes my friends would be busy, others would be waiting for better offers from more grown up girls. I wasn't too picky in choosing my playmates; I even stood by the fickle ones who weren't as loyal to me as I was to them.

I guess that's one of my blessings and curses - I am loyal to a fault. There are times when I should let go of my loyalty, but my heart has a hard time surrendering.

The lessons we learn while riding bikes and chasing boys on the playground apply to adulthood, too. We stick by our friends in good times and bad. Our friends are the people we're supposed to feel comfortable trusting with our deepest aspirations, heartbreaks and dreams.

Our friends are supposed to keep us accountable.

Whether we're 13 or 33, our closest relationships are supposed to be circumstances of reciprocity, not scenarios of one-way support, affection and kindness. When we don't feel that mutual respect and commitment, it's easy to grow hurt, confused and disappointed.

The swell thing about having a nice sized social circle is that it gives me the opportunity to foster a variety of relationships. Like a glorious garden of flowers, sometimes I sit back and discover some of the most beautiful blooms are the ones least attended to.

And that's when I begin ringing doorbells.

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Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.


Ara said...

So very true. :)

Something Infinitely Interesting said...

I agree, and i love the way you put it. Its soooo true.

Thats why i still have my first two friends i ever had in my life :)

Anonymous said...

So true even beyond 33! I'm 40 and one of my treasured friends 77. I'm certain she could do circle around me in a schwinn! Love your random musings :)

What's In My Yard? said...

One thing that I have always believed is that you get what you give. So like you said even if you are not getting as much back from that same person you are at least knowing that you are doing your part and I believe that you will get it in return from in someone else.

Tabatha said...

I agree with you! I have had so many friends come and go, but also have found out who my TRUE friends are based on lifes situations. :)

Single and Sane said...

Friends come in and out of our lives and one of the coolest things is when you can pick right up where you left off on some of those friendships, despite years in between contact with one another. It's one of the underrated rewards of growing older.

Tony B said...

I hadn't seen my best friend in 10 years and we met up in December and it was like we never parted ways.
Also met up with another former best-ish friend the day after turkey day after about a 10 yr hiatus also (No I wasn't in prison) and we've been dating ever since and I can honestly say I've never been happier.

Unknown said...

I envy your ability walk around ringing doorbells not afraid of rejection.

I still have the fear of rejection, and ive noticed that as i get older that fear increases.