Where Wal-Mart is the Ninth Ring, and Kroger's pharmacy line could be regarded as the First Ring, the crafters' mecca is firmly planted somewhere in the middle.
What with its melange of tempera paints and scrapbook paper and cake icing tips, Michael's Crafts has a way of bringing out the craziest crafters of all ages.
I am one of those freaks.
My glue gun is safely stashed in a bowl atop my refrigerator. I have a whole cardboard box full of sparkly trimmings, ribbons, paints, glues and other tools required for greatness.
The thing is, whenever I walk into Michael's, it's with the intention of accomplishing a specific mission. In this case, my explicit assignment was to go to the paper products aisle to buy some note cards and envelopes.
But I am always lured away by something else. In this case, it was the silk flowers.
Glorious blooms of every color of the rainbow, probably made in Chinese sweatshops by little children with tiny, tiny fingers.
(Ed. note: Dear Michael's Crafts - I am just hypothesizing and wondering here, and have no concrete evidence substantiating said statement, so please don't sue me. I really don't know what I'm talking about).
Behold, my moment of tiptoeing through the tulips.
"Who, me?" Playing coy behind a pastel pink blossom that does not appear in nature (What the hell is it? a peony? A gerbera daisy cultivated in a meth lab?), I envisioned skipping and dancing and spinning arm in arm with the love of my life or a very fabulously gay man while wearing this option behind my ear.
I. Love. This. Flower.
Thank you, little kid, for keeping the Michael's Crafts staff more annoyed than this 33 y.o. woman.
God help the fool who does this to me. For serious.
Boy, does it make a statement, but probably not the one I'm looking for.
Seriously. Who puts this junk up in their house? Martha's tacky cousin?
After wandering through the silk flowers a few moments more, I grabbed the big, pink peony/gerbera daisy and headed to the check out counter.
Next up, I'm ready to go to town on some rubber stamps and grosgrain ribbon.
Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.