When Mariah Carey pleaded, "Wrestle me around, play with me some more," I don't think she was envisioning this guy:
In case you can't see the watermark everywhere, this photo is from the AP.
Okay, so this latest Transportation Security Administration drama has everybody's panties in a knot, if for no other reason than the manhandling in the security line at your nearest airport.
Today is one of the biggest travel days of the year, and every air traveler around has heard about the new pat down technique administered to people taking to the friendly skies. These more invasive techniques arose after people began refusing to go through the "backscatter" full body scans that create images of your essentially nude self.
Tales of full breast cupping, vaginal probing and "junk" manhandling have erupted in connection with the more "thorough" pat down technique.
Some of the stories sound too absurd, insensitive or offensive to be true. But they are. Take note:
I don't know about you, but I typically only prefer body fondling after a good date and a glass of wine or two.
So many travelers have expressed frustration about the new, extreme security measures, and have said they plan to muck up the system with a demonstration "National Opt-Out Day" today. The movement is an attempt to tell lawmakers and other officials that law abiding citizens do not deserve to be subjected to these invasive scanners and extreme pat downs.
The demonstration will likely lead to big delays at the nation's busiest airports, as a scan only takes a few seconds, but a detailed pat down takes about two minutes.
This whole thing feels wrong.
And not in a touchy-feely way.
The thing is, we are Americans. Our nation's citizens have enjoyed special liberties and freedoms for over 234 years. We have a Constitution and Bill of Rights that protect us from improper search and seizure. Our citizens have a reasonable expectation of being considered innocent until proven guilty and are afforded the right of due process.
We just can't go around feelin' people up to make sure they're not carrying explosive devices between their labia.
There. I said it.
We're putting our rights and privileges aside for the sake of extreme tactics in the war on terrorism. The dramatic change to our peace and civility in an affront to basic American standards and we must search for better, less offensive ways to safely screen air travelers.
Because, like I said, I only invite people to touch my body when a little romance is involved.