Friday, March 24, 2006

Smackdown on Ol' Copper - Kill 'Em With Kindness


I won my little court battle with Barney Fife.

I showed up Wednesday morning for my non-jury trial at the Hamilton County Courthouse, pertinent papers in hand, just waiting to prove myself not guilty of all charges.

I was a bit disappointed when the cop who gave me a ticket didn't even have the decency to look at me or say hello when he walked in the courtroom. No, the cop walked to the row of chairs for witnesses and sat down, obstructing his vision by leaning his head in his left hand.

He wasn't gonna look at me, and he wasn't gonna let me look at him.

The prosecutor walked in and asked the officer who he was in the courtroom for. Then the prosecutor asked me why I was contesting the ticket for expired tags. I whipped out my paperwork, first a piece of paper from the state showing my tags were renewed the day before the date of the ticket and second, my proof of insurance.

The prosecutor looked at the cop, "Yeah. You're not gonna win this one. She's got all the proof here that she was good on those tags. How about we just throw this one out?"

I could just tell the cop was pissed.

He kind of squirmed a bit, then he smiled and said "Well, fine. She already paid out... I already ticketed her on February 15th for an improper parking spot and she waited until March second to renew those tags."

What an ass.

The prosecutor basically said, That may be the case, but you stopped her on the third, and she got her tags on the second.

The prosecutor and judge dismissed all charges, and the cop and I both walked out of the courtroom.

Once I made it to the hallway, I turned to the cop and in a move a la Bree Van De Camp (The Perfect Desperate Housewife) and said "You have a nice day," all while grinning ear to ear.

Yeah. I'm guessing he's pretty much out to get me now.


The Notorious N.A.T said...

What does this cop look like? It's sort of one of these strange occurences that I could totally see you dating him down the road...wouldn't it be a great story? "Yes darlings, daddy used his stalking-cop tactics to ask me out..."

I think he really has a thing for you. What kind of thing, TBD.

Congrats anyway on your win.

Me! said...

Funny thing is, I kind of agree with Nat. One of my girlfriends met her husband when she accidently ran him over. Seriously.

I'm glad you prevailed though. The whole matter was utter bullshit.

olr said...

sweet, nothing like sticking it to the man with a smile...

Kate The Great said...

Nat... Ew. He's really yucky. Maybe about 45, black greasy hair and a permanent scowl on his face. I hope to God he's not my only choice for procreation!

GAC- Yeah. It's nice to bust the stones of a cop who thinks he's powerful because he's packing heat.

Red... I totally agree. Kill 'em with kindness ;)