Monday, March 24, 2008

Ball Of Fire

My priorities got shifted somewhere between lethargy and despondency.

I can't pinpoint a specific date or occasion, the only thing I know is church took a back seat to so many other things - Charles Osgood and Bill Geist, extra moments under the down comforter, personal commitments.

My calendar got filled up with weekends away and late nights out and lazy mornings in - and before I knew it I was less of a practicing Catholic and more of a perfect lummox.

Disappointment and frustration fueled my disenchantment with the only religious tradition I'd come to known. My faith remained true over these past few months but I relied more on a very Depeche Mode kind of religion - a personal communion with God that happened on walks, behind the wheel and during other far more pedestrian moments of my life.

Last week brought on a roller coaster of emotion - my niece's heart surgery and my accepting a new career in an unfamiliar profession - and I felt myself pulled toward the familiar pomp and circumstance of my spiritual past.

Some unexpected variables led me to observe the Easter holiday alone. I laid in bed as long as I could Sunday morning and then felt disappointed that I hadn't gotten my ass out in time to get to St. Mary's in Hyde Park - for Maevey's sake alone I should have had no trouble going to church.

Too late to make it to my own church's mass, I googled Cincinnati's churches and found a 12:30 pm mass downtown. I didn't know what to expect at St. Louis Church - and was pleased to find a humble crowd of faithful gathered for communion. I didn't think I would be ready for my first foray back into the church scene amidst a cast of thousands and was glad to see a small chapel full of people from the neighborhood.

I sat in a pew next to an older, bohemian woman and focused less on my needs and more on those belonging to the tiniest girl I know. I asked for God's grace and forgiveness - perhaps feeling far more prodigal son than required, grateful I didn't explode into a ball of fire when I crossed the church's threshold.

The time beneath the crucifix reminded me of the one constant I've had while away from the church - I have remained grateful of all the many gifts bestowed on me and cannot begin to express the thanks I feel for the blessings of my life.

I don't know what the future holds for me - or even the weekend for that matter.

But I'm going to do my best to make it to mass again.


Chris F. said...

Hello Kate. You may know me from the postings on Denae's blog. I want to wish you the best on your future endeavors now that you are moving away from broadcasting.

I'm hoping for a career change myself either in the macho world of the NFL as a college scout or perhaps as a songwriter. I have a site at

Let me know what you think.

The Notorious N.A.T said...

Wow. I'm impressed. I like Bill Geist and Charles Osgood way too much to stop my lazy self from staying in bed until 10:30 every Sunday. I don't remember the last time I went to church. Not sure if God would let me in...

Update on Maevey and the job s'il vous plait...