Saturday, May 31, 2008


Why is it so damn hard to be a single chick?

We grapple with romantic devastation, wade through professional disaster and meander through personal disappointment - without a partner to help carry the load.

Through it all, we lean on our fellow single sisters for support - and some great cocktails.

I caught the latest celebration of Girl Power to hit the silver screen Friday night. GOP Big Wig and I took in the Sex and the City flick, along with a throng of giddy women decked out in hot stilettos, dresses, handbags and every other imaginable accessory.

I'll skip a review (D Money's blog has a nice discussion on the movie), but I wanted to write a bit about a quote of Carrie's that struck a chord for me.

"Your 20s are for having fun, your 30s are for learning your lessons and your 40s are to pay for the drinks (paraphrased)."

I love it.

A year and a half in to my 30s, I have to say - I am facing many experiences with an open perspective and a desire to learn and improve both myself and the world around me.

Where my 20s were (mostly but not completely) a drunken stupor of debauchery and decadence, my 30s are more restrained, more responsible. I am more apt to forgo a night of spectacular dining and imbibing, instead dedicating my finances to more pressing obligations - most recently, auto repair.

I am also more likely to seek out more genuine personal connections, rather than those relationships that leave me feeling empty or dissatisfied. It's great having a bunch of drinking buddies, but I just can't have the same conversation more than twice... and if it's gonna be about your college glory days or sexual conquests - please leave me out.

I am learning a lot in my 30s.

I've discovered you don't have to shell out a lot of cash to look dynamite. By the same token, I've learned you definitely get what you pay for in regards to shoes - BCBG Girl will feel so much better than Payless at the end of the evening.

I've learned that it's okay to wait for love, because sometimes we commit too early and are left with something messy. These days, people my age and younger are getting divorced, proof that maybe it's alright I've decided to skip the "starter marriage" and wait for the real deal. In a related matter, my mom has occasionally reminded me that perhaps I can score a retread.


31 is great. I won't try and tell you it's all wine and roses, but the disappointments aren't as dramatic, and I can't help but believe it's because I know myself better and am more committed to my convictions than I was in my 20s.

And I know Carrie says the 40s are so you can pay for the cocktails, but I think I'm doing alright with that, too.

In honor of the flick that celebrates the Big Apple and single girls everywhere, here's a drink recipe I invented when I was 17. It won a contest at the restaurant where I worked through high school and college - and the management decided to serve it all summer long.


Long Island Sunset
3 oz. Captain Morgan spiced rum
3 oz. Peachtree schnapps
3 oz. Cranberry juice
3 oz. Sour mix

Shake after poured, garnish with cherry and orange slice.

1 comment:

Chris F. said...

Don't forget the men! We also endure the pains of the world we live in, but being the way we are, we don't express it for the world to see. We are more introverted with our feelings and thoughts for better or worse.

I can definitely relate. My early to mid 20's were enjoyable and fun as was much of my life up to that point, mid 20s to just last year were basically crap, and now in 2008, I get the sense things are starting to look up again for me slowly but surely. Physically and mentally, I've not felt this good in many years.

But it didn't start with getting a new job although some leads are looking promising, getting married (no, but more open to the possibility), but it began with changing the way I look at my own situation and life in general.

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
Martha Dandridge Custis Washington to Mercy Otis Warren