Saturday, June 19, 2010

Morbid Truth

Sometimes I wake up thinking, "Is today the day I'm going to die?"

I know, I know. Not necessarily the most pleasant thought to mull over, but I guess it's good to be aware of your own mortality.

Just Wednesday evening, I was driving down the highway at an illegal but acceptable speed, when it hit me - I was wearing exactly what I'd want to be buried in, save for some sexy stilettos. Simple black dress, signature raw amethyst and turquoise necklace, mascara, red lipstick and big hair.

One of my friends called me silly for wanting to wear stilettos in my casket. "No one will even see them," he said. "Why bother?"

Because my spirit will know... and stilettos is how I'd want to go out.

That and maybe a little bit of Woodford poured on my grave. You know. One for me, and one for my homies.

Anyway.

Let me be clear, I don't sit and dwell too much about my fleeting humanity. I don't cry in my dark bedroom while wearing black and listening to the Cure, contemplating which body part to cut.

But once in a while, a moving tune and wild hormones will commingle when I'm cruising on I-71, usually when the sky is a bright shade of azure and the clouds look like puffs of cotton.

I'll be struck by a moment of tremendous gratitude, and the water works will crank on.

I suppose it's moments like that when I am also overcome by grief. Clouds make me think of Maeve, and she makes me think of my grandparents.

Losing my niece was probably the single most powerful experience in regards to my ability to appreciate life. Not to get all hokey on you, but these days on earth really are a gift.

Just like Jack from LOST, I don't really know why I'm on this rock island, but I'm making the most of my days. In turn, the people with whom I spend my time will be precious to me here and beyond.

Let's get back to life on earth, shall we?

So, with all this boundless sensitivity and acute awareness about my own mortality, I've become compelled to live the best life I can.

I treat people the way they treat me, and in many cases, well better than some folks deserve.

Time is a gift that is to be used, given away and treasured. I spend my time with my family and friends, doing work that I fully believe is making an impact on my fellow man, and enjoying the blessings that life offers.

I like to have an effing good time.

Never, on my death bed, will I ever say, "Gosh. I wish I had more fun."

I've learned an important lesson at an early age.

Life's short. Do what you believe in. Chase new experiences. Treasure loved ones.

Savor.

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Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

1 comment:

wenderly said...

Love that you want to be wearing stilettos! I couldn't agree more. Life is short. I try to embrace the "gift" of the "present" and live life to the fullest...love big and live big. I never want to regret what I "didn't" do.
Amen.