Monday, July 30, 2007

Pretty Face And Amazing Curves

I battle the bulge constantly.

Every morning since for as long as I can remember, I strip down to nothing and hop on the scale before my daily shower and after my morning constitutional.

I watch the numbers climb up. I watch the numbers climb down. It's a ritual that's woven its way into the fabric of my essence. A girl who will never not watch her weight.

Sometimes I am very vocal about my latest, greatest campaign to keep the pounds off. I did Weight Watchers with stunning success seven years ago. Six months in to the program I had shed 30 pounds and developed a three-miles-four-times-a-week running habit.

I felt wonderful, I looked awesome and everywhere I turned I was getting a compliment about how hot I looked.

It was great.

Then complacency set in. One long john donut, a trip to Cold Stone. Maybe a big night out with bottles of white wine and amazing Thai food. A candy bar out of the vending machine at work. A homemade treat brought in by a friend. Too many afternoons sitting at the bar with a pint in the hand. Little indiscretions that added up to a long list of verboten caloric intake.

Years later I find myself carrying those 30 pounds again and 10 to spare.

And so, as every curvy girl does once in a while, I had a Come To Jesus moment.

I am never going to be thin.

I am never going to be an Olympic athlete.

I am never going to stand in for Heidi Klum at the Lagerfield show.

I could be healthy, though. I could be 5'8", broad shouldered and lean. I could be a walker or a runner or a swimmer or a biker.

I could be stunning all the time.

And so six weeks ago I joined Weight Watchers. I walked back in to those meetings ready to try and commit myself to a plan that has proven its success to me once before. It's a plan that allows amazing flexibility for people to try and work a program the way that's best for them. I am still wading through the rights and wrongs and have managed to lose some weight - even with a bit of cheating here and there.

This week's meeting left me feeling powerful and ready to conquer errant calories, all because of a statement a woman made.

She was responding to another 30-something woman complaing about her cup runneth over bra size. My ears perked up considering this is something I can relate to.

The older woman said, "You've got a pretty face and amazing curves. What I wouldn't give to have that in my youth! People can always lose weight, but they can't make themselves any prettier or naturally curvy. You've already won!"

I was dumbfounded.

Her statement, though directed to another woman, echoed what others have said to me before.

And she's right.

I've got great hair and a smile worth thousands of dollars. My skin is pretty clear and my eyes are a nice shade of blue. I've got proportional curves that some men are drawn to.

I guess I can't complain, can I?


The Notorious N.A.T said...

amen sister! you got it...i think i'm heading back to the dub dub next week. i'm so large.

Micah said...

Hey, I just went back on the diet that's proven most successful for me: Atkins. It sucks, but I'm toughing it out and keeping my eyes on the prize: fitting into my suit for this year's Micahpalooza (that'd be seeing Tony Bennett at Caesar's Palace in Atlantic City).

Afterwards, I'll ditch Dr. Atkins, but I fully intend to commit to a healthier lifestyle. Until I don't.

JAB said...

We're all in it together!

Denae said...

this is what i keep telling you my gorgeous girl. your smile and blue eyes are second to none. you are damn hot and most guys cannot even speak when you are around because they are admiring your two lovely examples of women flesh. besides, have you heard that new song (it is playing like crazy here)...the chorus is something like "big girls you are beautiful"? i hum that to myself when i try on clothes. catchy. see you soon, angel.