Sunday, October 12, 2008

Campfire of the Vanities

I have a confession to make.

I have a tough time passing a mirror without looking.

Perhaps it's a gut check, perhaps I am hoping to admire something that's working for me - whatever the reason, I can't walk by a plate glass window, mirror or piece of chrome without checking myself out.

All that vanity leads me to rely on my own beauty treatments from time to time.

Right now I'm enjoying a great microderm abrasion system by Beauti Control - complete with a battery-operated brush that spins around and grinds the diamond shaped granules against the flesh, removing the dead skin flakes.

I guess I believe, deep down, this little product is going to take away my age, restore my youth and melt away the worries imbedded in my face.

My dedication to beauty is not relegated to my flesh.

At first glance, I appear to be a blonde bombshell - with a big, flowing mane of flaxen hair. As it turns out, all those golden tendrils are the product of years of chemistry (surprise, surprise - I know). Every month for the past several years, I've subjected myself to hours in a salon chair, wearing layers of sheeting and drapes while my hair was coated in aluminum and bleach.

The chaos of a busy schedule has upset the applecart that is my monthly highlight commitment, and so my roots have grown out more than I care to admit. The only benefit of this embarrassing result is that I've re-discovered my natural hair color (it's much darker than I expected) and I am now considering adding some uber dark low lights to the mix of platinum.

What does all of this mean to you?

Well, I don't consider myself high maintainance. I am pretty comfortable walking out the door with nary a cosmetic - save for a nice perfume and some drug store mascara. I am not a slave to the pedicurist and I could care less what Cosmo says about the "in style" eye shadow shades this season.

That said, even I have a few beauty regimens and commitments that I just can't give up.

I am happy to hand over my eyeliner any day - but please, please, please don't take my hair dryer.

Almost every chick has a few beauty tricks up her sleeve - the true magic is making it all look easy.


The Notorious N.A.T said...

I'm OBSESSED with mirrors too. I hate them and love them at the same time. Hmmm, sounds like maybe there's something more to it than just the mirrors...

WestEnder said...

I never look in mirrors. It just reminds me how out-of-shape I've become and how much better I used to look. I still see an occasional glass reflection so my new plan is to avoid daylight altogether.

Also I might start living off human blood.

ShannanB said...

Ok. So I will tell you something I've never told anyone....When I was younger I went through a vain spell and my mother actually banned me from ALL MIRRORS for 24 hours. It was sooo hard and now, so embarrassing!

liz said...

i regularly terrorize cincinnati with furry legs and wet hair, but the one thing i cannot do is leave the house without concealer under my eyes. people think that i have been punched in the face b/c of my horrible dark circles. it saves more time to just put it on rather than try to explain to 10 different people that no, i did not get into a fight last night.