Sometimes I feel like a real asshat.
It's a few and far between kind of feeling, since I believe I treat most people with respect most of the time. But sometimes, sometimes there are occasions when I feel like such. a. jerk.
Most of these occasions revolve around the scenario of meeting a new person - a person whose name I can't remember even though someone introduced me, like, seven milliseconds ago.
I can't help it. I do little mind tricks (like "Jelly Bean Jill" because Jill is little and curvy) or I repeat the name in my head over and over (Sarah, Sarah bo-barah. Banana fanna fo farah. SARAH!) but sometimes I just CANNOT keep the name in the wet noodle in my head that some people call a brain.
And I feel like the biggest jerk ever when that same person, the one I was introduced seven milliseconds ago, can remember my name like -that-.
I feel like I cover up my flaw pretty well. I usually greet people I know (gosh, I recognize her face. Is it Molly? Maybe Mary? Marcy?) with the big "Hey there! How's it goin'?!" I guess it's a smooth reaction I rely on when I simply cannot pull the name out of my brain. I feel like an even bigger jerk when I'm with a friend or two and I want to introduce Molly/Mary/Marcy to the rest of my gang. Instead I end up looking like the biggest heel because I won't start the round of introductions. My best friends are aware of this personal shortcoming I have and usually just jump in and introduce themselves.
Last weekend I went out to watch the Bengals/Patriots game with a friend and his friends, and I sat there the whole time next to a girl (whom I ended up spilling a beer on in my first three minutes of sitting down at the table when crossing my long legs) whose name I couldn't remember. I felt like a total bee-otch when I couldn't even apologize to this girl using her proper name.
Sometimes I listen hawkeye style for someone else to reference a person by name. a Hey Jimmy, pass the peanuts kind of thing. Sometimes it works for me. Sometimes it doesn't.
The worst part is, I still have slow recall for the names belonging to people whom I've known for years. They could be old, not-so-close friends, they could be co-workers whom I don't interact with frequently. I can usually remember the names belonging to this group of people after the first sentence or two of interaction.
Avogadro's Number. My childhood phone number. The directions to make a perfect pie crust - I got all that down by heart.
But your name?
Chances are I don't know it. And if I do, it may take me a while to remember it.
I am so glad to know Madonna is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Check that, the weight of the world's children on her shoulders.
The Blonde Ambitious One is rumored to be in Africa to adopt a baby boy.
The following is my favorite quote featured in one of the related reports:
"For the last few years--now that I have children and now that I have what I consider to be a better perspective on life--I have felt responsible for the children of the world," she said.