Here's a quality that could preclude me from the "Potential Best Girlfriend Ever" competition.
I have developed a gag reflex problem.
Folks, get your mind out of the gutter. This is not a scenario that involves anything salacious and tawdry. This gagging scenario involves two very benign activities: brushing teeth and swallowing medication.
I have no idea how it happened. I can remember as far back as college, brushing my teeth and thinking back to a girl who once said she couldn't brush her pearly whites without dry heaving. What a sad state of affairs, I thought - this chick can't even tend to her molars without hovering over the toilet.
I have become that girl.
It started happening a couple months ago - I distinctly remember noticing it before I went on vacation. Please know this chronic gagging isn't triggered by my deep throating my Oral B. We're talking a few gentle caresses on my incisors and bicuspids.
The gagging has gotten so bad that my face turns bright red and my eyes tear up. I've even had a few moments where I struggled to suppress my body's attempt to lose my lunch (or breakfast, as the case may be).
This Pavlovian reaction happens when I try to swallow pills, too. Most of my prescription drugs are small, round (think - birth control pills) and unobtrusive - except to my extremely sensitive uvula and palate.
I've taken to reading websites like this, offering tips and tricks to relax this raging reflex, but so far nothing seems to work.
Some of my research indicates the gag reflex is a combination of psychology and physiology, and occasionally is brought up by anxiety. I've weathered life's stresses before, but this is certainly one chronic, physical reaction I've never experienced.
It makes mainlining Phish Food seem like a walk in the park.
At the risk of opening myself up to lewd commentary, anyone have any tips that will help me get over this weird development?
(ed. note: any truly inappropriate comments on this post will get the ol' heave-ho, yo).
Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.