Thursday, August 05, 2004

Do I smell or something?

Never fail... at least once a day... whenever I go to the restroom at work, the automatic air freshener goes off.

Now, what in the hell does that mean?

Does it have some automatic sensor inside saying, "Oh no. Kate walked in. Brace the air for toxic fumes."

I mean, I bathe on a regular basis. I use deodorant. I even spritz the obligatory perfume on several spots (but not too many) of the ol' body.

So what did I do to set off the damn air freshener?

And if it goes off when I walk in, then what does it do when those other people walk in... the same smelly people you avoid in meetings or in lines at the bank. The ones you scoot away from or cock your head to the side... hoping to catch a whiff of something else. The people who, in a last resort, you avoid the odor of by bowing your head in to your chest, working hard to catch a sniff of your own, comfortable and less offensive smell.

And when you meet these smelly people, how can you tell them they should do something about their less than becoming odor? What if this person is your boss, your neighbor, your brother or your best friend?

I guess with the boss you just have to suck it up. I mean, you've got to have balls the size of cantaloupes to say, "Hey Mister Jones, I know you've been working really hard on those T-21 reports, but could you take a few minutes out of your day to put on the Right Guard?"

Or worse, what if someone's really smelly because of the cologne or perfume they put on?

I once had an ex-boyfriend who would leave an odorous trail behind him after leaving a room. We happened to work at the same company, and I could know with 100% certainty that he had passed through a hallway or spent a moment in the breakroom, just by smelling him.

His scent-trail had about a 10 minute lag behind him until it dissipated into the rest of the regular workplace odors. It was great when we were dating, but once we broke up (which is another story for another day) I HATED that damn cologne.

Fortunately I had remarked several times about how good Polo Blue smelled on him, and so he switched to something else. I think it must have been a gift from his new white trash girlfriend because is smelled equally cheap.

Probably English Leather or Old Spice.

Oh well.

Even when I smell like ass, I am ALWAYS 100% class.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Even when I smell like ass, I am ALWAYS 100% class."

Hahahaha thats a quote for the infamous plaque.

My favorite Steve R. quote about body odor from the Deer Creek Phish show: "I dont care if people smoke pot next to me, and I don't care if people stink next to me; but if you stink AND smoke pot, we've got a problem"

-steve h