Oh, if I only knew in high school what I know now.
Nine years ago I graduated from a nice little school in Madison, Connecticut. It's a public high school for a fairly affluent community, where all the kids have money, cool clothes and nice cars.
I had bad hair, bad clothes, bad acne, a bad car and bad grades (well, in math and science classes.)
I was so dorky. I was the girl some guys made fun of because I was an easy target. Lets face it, when a cool guy writes "hose beast" on your locker, you're probably going to let it slide for fear of the ensuing wrath if you make a big deal about it.
Never had a boyfriend, but I did manage to snag a date to the senior prom.
It was a fun event where I got to feel like one of the cool kids, if even for just one night.
Fast forward nine years, and now I'm a career girl with a college education and a lot of experience under my belt. I came to college and made up for lost time, and now I probably have as many "party hours" logged as those cool kids from years ago.
Time has been good to me, too. I feel way more comfortable in my own skin. I've got my own money (well, a little bit of it, anyway) and I can use it to get highlights in my hair, if I so choose (which I do.) I am more interested in what I put into my body (i.e. food) and make conscious decisions to eat healthy stuff. It's true what they say, after all. A moment on the lips... a lifetime on the hips.
I also have way more confidence than I used to. When you get down to the nitty gritty, and you take stock of your mettle, can you be proud of the person you are? I'm satisfied with my accomplishments, my mistakes and the things I've done to make myself a better person. My spirituality has grown immensely, and so has my sense of self. Only I know if I'm a "hose beast."
(What the hell is that, anyway?)
I can go to fun bars or cool restaurants if I want to. There's no secret handshake that keeps out all the high school dorks. Besides, when you get down to it, the high school dorks are the ones raking in the cash in the "real world." The high school dorks are today's engineers, attorneys and stock brokers. The cool kids from days past are now administrative assistants, bar bouncers and phys. ed. teachers.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
I did pretty well for myself, too.
All that journal writing that my parents bitched about has paid off. I work for a network affiliate as the producer of the 6 o'clock news.
In a nutshell, I get to tell the anchors what to say and do, and even though there are a lot of stresses, it's still a pretty cool job.
I went back home for my sister's wedding last month. Us young kids all went out to a bar after the rehearsal dinner, and I saw that guy who wrote "hose beast" on my locker 12 years ago. He did a triple take when I walked by.
I guess that's what happens when you lose 25 pounds, get a tan and a really great hair-do (thank you, Darlene!)
I can't wait to go back for my 10 year reunion.
Baby, I haven't even peaked yet.