I don't date a lot.
I think it's in part because I kind of don't care anymore, and partly because I don't encounter as many situations to meet new men as I used to in the past.
I don't care as much as I used to because I'm pretty happy with my solo status - I like doing things on my terms on my schedule. Notice I didn't say really happy - I'm hoping I find someone along the way who likes doing the same things on the same schedule.
The catch is - I'm really not looking for those guys.
I used to go from bar after bar after bar searching for Mr. Right. I'd scope out every wine tasting, book store and produce section for a worthy candidate. Now, I sip on my pinot, flip through the paperbacks and grab my bananas without much thought as to whether there are any attractive, testosterone laden gods in my vicinity.
SO you would think I'd jump at the chance to go on a date - especially if it's with a polite man... Especially a polite man with tickets to Wicked.
What about when that gentleman is, like, 60 years old?
Yeah, he didn't stand much of a chance.
He was clever and apparently wealthy. The man was visiting my office - shadowing his friend and my co-worker, Mrs. Chocolate, for half the day. He was charming in our morning meeting, spinning yarns about his old days working in the very same newsroom in the 60s. I smiled and thought about how I was born a decade later.
Later he pronounced in a stage whisper that the newsroom was full of so many beautiful women and "Why do they all have to be taken?" Mrs. Chocolate went on to say that yours truly was the only single one left but that I was a catch deserving of only the best.
A couple hours later my phone rang.
It was the old man asking me what I was doing after my newscast tomorrow.
I mustered the most polite response I could think - Um, I'd have to check my schedule. Why?
Even when he dangled out the idea of Wicked tickets, I just couldn't bite. I think some older men are hot - but even my openmindness has an age limit. There's no way I could date a man 30 years older than me. That's just too weird - a strange play on the Electra complex that I don't want to explore.
And so I said no. Thank you, but no. Besides I saw Wicked last week on a spontaneous blind date - and that guy, I liked.
Seriously, is this all I have to look forward to? Come-ons from rich, old men?
Lord help me.
Good call.... nothing against older men, but I bet he has saggy balls. And you know, that image isn't worth front row tickets to see Wicked.
You say rich old man like that's a bad thing. Look how well that worked out for Anna Nicole. Okay, maybe that's a bad example.
But seriously, can't you appreciate the irony of him wanting to take you to Wicked? Menopause the Musical would have been the only thing more amusing.
I hear weddings are a good place to pick up guys. I'm just saying...
If he was 40 maybe...if he was 50 possibly but 60...no. Although, you could date him, marry him and wait until he dies before you live with him... kidding.
Post a Comment