Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

He had a voice that sometimes made me think of freshly lacquered nails gouging out a chalkboard.

As good a friend as he was, sometimes he drove me batty. Sometimes it was his personality oozing with misplaced energy, other times it was his eagerness to be witty and well liked.

Personality ticks aside, he was a great friend, and someone I trusted.

And for all the misgivings, I knew that to change him would mean taking away his kindness and mostly delightful disposition.

Relationships definitely are a case of taking the good with the bad.

Reflecting on my past and my romantic and platonic relationships, I am reminded that everyone - yes, even me - has their shortcomings.

Some of us are flaky. Others are quick to offer judgment or slow to offer depth. There are people in our lives who fail to read, refuse to exercise or eschew organized religion. Some of us are consumed by vanity, power, status or money.

Society is full of people who refuse to confront their psychological hang-ups.

Like I said, none of us is perfect.

And really, that's the beauty of humanity.

It's like we're a great sea of puzzle pieces, searching for the matching parts that best fit our own characteristics. We gravitate to people who compliment our strengths and help soften our weaknesses. We look for people who would benefit from what we have to offer, too.

But we can't change people to make them fit our lives and expectations.

Because to change someone would be to completely disregard the positive attributes they have to offer.

Finding the people who fit our puzzle piece is a talent.

Accepting their shortcomings is a gift.

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Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

1 comment:

Tina Lane said...

This is a subject I have been stuck on lately. In my past I have been one of those people who forgives too much, and ends up in abusive and/or unreciprocated relationships. I have turned that around in the past few years, and am now stuck looking for the middleground. I wonder if I have become intolerant.