Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Sparkling and Solo

Sometimes, if I'm really quiet, my heartbeat and a ticking clock are the only things I hear.

When the world is still and my breathing is measured, I am reminded my biology and time are embroiled in a bitter race, and that there's nothing I can really do to improve the circumstances.

Let me flash back to this morning, and a lovely appearance by Meghan McCain on Good Morning America.

The "Blogette," as she's known in some circles inside The Beltway, guested along side Maria Shriver to promote The Women's Conference. The California event aims to inspire and educate women who are seeking success in life and business.

Diane Sawyer pointedly asked McCain if she thought women could have fulfilled lives without marrying. "Of course you can have a fulfilled life without getting married," McCain said. "I want women to be able to do it all."

Whoa, there, Blogarita.

Lots of women do, indeed, do it all. They aspire to a successful, empowering career while nurturing a loving relationship with a spouse or partner and raising their children. They take care of the chores of home while attending to their civic responsibilities and enjoying flourishing social commitments.

Doing it all isn't really a problem for many women.

To be fair to McCain, I get that she is trying to advocate for the success of women as they pursue any endeavor they desire.

That said, there are many of us women out there doing almost everything, and in the midst of things, struggling to find a partner worthy of our intellect, drive and heart.

I think of the women in my direct social and civic circles - bright, well educated, rising stars who are in the trenches and cultivating prominent careers in the fields of law, banking, marketing, sales and medicine. These women are beautiful, witty and fun. They are generous with their time - giving their talents and volunteer hours to a myriad of organizations.

And not only do these women work hard - they play hard.

They jet off to Dubai for a long weekend or rub elbows with the city's politicos. These women score invites to the toniest of parties and have the most amazing contacts saved in their smartphones.

Yes, Diane. We are fulfilled. And any single one of us would be considered a catch.

And yet I am mystified that this particular breed of woman has a hard time snagging her own counterpart.

I don't know if it's because these women are considered WOFAs (ed note: I tried googling Woman of F*cking Action and discovered a bunch of links not appropriate or germane to this post), or if it's because men are intimidated by these women and their drive and ambition.

Regardless, when these women get together for some girl time, we occasionally cry into our glasses of Pinot Noir and moan about our singleness.

I think about my own solo status and wonder if, as McCain desires, I'll *get* to do it all.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just going to be the best damn aunt my sisters' children will ever have. The aunt with the awesome, two-seater sports car and nary a piece of child-appropriate furniture in my home.

Because, honestly? I'd give it all up - the fancy parties and the impressive connections, the ascending career and the noble commitments - if I had a family of my own to nurture.

But I don't have time to think about these things.

There are events to plan and parties to attend and connections to make.

I'm just waiting to see where it all leads me.

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Kate's Random Musings by Kate the Great is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.


theboilover said...

Don't worry, we gentleman have similar thoughts...except replace Pinot Noir with craft beer....

Unknown said...

Kate, you're such a good writer. On my 25th anniversary today, looking over the divorce papers, reading about your sadness at "not getting to do it all" and what you would trade to have what I've had... well, the only important part missing for *both* of us is finding the *right* mate. Sometimes women like me picked the wrong guy for that vision (okay, LOADS of men and women pick the wrong partners)... I'm glad for you, at least, that you haven't had the pain of the wrong person.

Here's hoping you do get the right person... and soon.

Lynx217 said...

Sometimes being single does indeed beat having someone if he's not the RIGHT someone. You'll know when you find him. Just don't rush it, even after you find him.