Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Like A Desperate Prayer

Dear Madge,

It's me, Kate the Great. Remember me? I was the one who used to dance around to Material Girl, Lucky Star and Like a Virgin in a bedroom on Appleseed Drive. Remember? I had the frizzy blonde hair, a face bathed in freckles and two twin beds covered in Laura Ashley's Cricket Stripe bedspreads. With the matching Olive Branch border?

Yeah, I think you remember me.

I've always been a big fan of yours. Of course, I loved Like A Virgin. I also thought Papa Don't Preach was a pretty phenomenal song and I did a mean impression of your True Blue bellowing on the playground in 6th grade. I was a little freaked out by the scenario you showcased in the Like a Prayer video but I got over it when I heard Vogue. I mean, the video was hot.

Your sexual ambiguity and and unabashed lingerie exposure were simultaneously shocking and enchanting.

You followed up with a few hits and misses (Deeper and Deeper, Take A Bow) and then in 1997 you released my own torch song, Don't Cry For Me Argentina.

My mom still says I sing the tune better.

Then you gave us Ray of Light, Music, and that abysmal album, American Life.

I really bought in to Confessions on a Dance Floor, but this latest album?

4 Minutes is okay, but Give It To Me just sucks.

There. I said it.

Give It To Me just sucks.

I think you jumped the shark when you included the highly annoying and overly repetitive bridge of, "Get stupid. Get stupid. Get stupid. Get stupid (2:29 in song)."

Over and over and over, you ask folks to "Get stupid," when clearly YOU are the one who Got Stupid.

I know Pharrell produced this song, so I can't deny its hip factor.

But really... Get stupid?

It's the least intelligent lyric you've ever featured.

(And the video kinda sucks, too.)



Amy in Ohio said...

I dreamed of having Laura Ashley's Bramble Berry bedding ensemble.

Angela said...

You and I must have been sister soulmates in our former lives... you described my love/hate relationship with the Material Girl perfectly. Madonna inspired this country girl to wrap knotted pieces of fabric around my head behind my ears, tying a bow just slightly off-kilter from the crown. Remember when she did the video with the real bullfighter? I thought I'd died and gone to heaven.
For me, the low point was her brief, fake love affair/duet with Britney Spears.
Ah, Vogue. Let your body move to the music.

Denae said...

so glad you let donna know how you feel. you spoke for many of us who expect more from her!