Today I discovered what it's like to be in Heaven.
I guess I can't really be absolutely sure, because I didn't lose my consciousness and I was quite aware of my surroundings. Still, that's the only way to describe the sense of awareness and calm I felt.
I was driving on Interstate 71 of all places when I had this sudden sense of peace.
The wind was blowing my glistening, golden hair around and the little hairs on my arms were catching the breeze. The sun made everything sparkly and the sky was this most stunning shade of azure. Nothing too noticeable to detract from the moment. And the clouds! The clouds looked like little flying bits of cotton candy, and they appeared almost thick enough that I could reach out and grab a bit and swallow that sweetness deep inside me.
And that's when I realized I didn't have a worry in the world.
Every pulsating heartbeat belted out a tune of happiness from my body. And suddenly I became awash of thanks and gratefulness for every gift God has ever bestowed on me. Even the bad things have turned out to be gifts, I've realized.
In that moment, I felt like my life had a purpose. I felt like my life was going to make an imprint on the world, no matter how insignificant when compared to the cosmos and the universe and everything else living and breathing on this Earth. I felt like I was going to leave something behind here when it was all said and done, whether that be through flesh and blood or plant or idea.
I guess what I'm saying (and I'm sure some of you are reading this freaky deeky post and thinking Damn. Kate's finally fallen off her rocker) is that I don't feel like my life is in vain. I feel like something's developing with every inhale and exhale I make. I feel like the energy in my being is going to do something and make my little corner of the world better and different somehow, far outlasting the cells and blood of my body.
I know there are many greater men who have gone before me. And I know there are still so many moments of awe to follow far behind me. But today confirms for me the belief that I am here for a reason, and I must only trust and be patient to discover exactly what that is.
As I was having this awesome moment regarding the sense of my existance, I wondered whether everyone else has these moments of enlightenment, or should I feel so lucky to appreciate my place in life? To want what I've got, as Sherly Crow says.
Gosh, I am so thankful to be a part of this beautiful thing called life.
Will somebody remind me I said this when I get bummed someday?