Wednesday, September 20, 2006

One Liners

Don't you ever have a work moment where you feel like punching your own personal Dwight Schrute?


Damn, why did I bite my nails off?

I really don't know how I feel about putting away the strappy sandals and sexy stilettos for the chunky shoes of Autumn.

Why is it that every time I see the new-and-improved Anna Nicole Smith, I think of Denise Brown, circa OJ Simpson trial?


What is the probability that my social life can subsist on Three Buck Chuck and netflix movies for the next four weeks until my London trip?

Maybe if I just stop eating, I can lose five pounds and look smokin' hot in my bridesmaid dress for the 30th.

I wish Blogger offered a feature so I could have a tune up on my page to reflect my mood.

Boy, an oil change can really do wonders for a car's disposition. Note to self: don't wait another five thousand miles to get one.

Should I be alarmed that I think a man from my past looks like Dwight Schrute?

Kate is now accepting volunteers who are interested in cleaning up her apartment. Grape peeling and fanning with banana leaves are optional.

And finally, something for the file labeled This is so wrong.

6 comments:

Nat said...

The Betty - it's so wrong and so Samantha. Someone can think of something for everything. Me. Nahhh, I like to leave it up to everyone else to figure out ingenious ideas. I like to think of it as spreading the wealth. To everyone but moi.

Kate The Great said...

Nat- I came up with an awesome idea years ago and my mom just poo-pooed it.

Idea: sports bra with pockets on the boobs so those warming gel packs could be inserted in during winter activities (skiing, shoveling, etc.)

I saw someone selling something like that on tv like a year ago.

Drats.

But the landing strip hair dye- not so keen on.

JAB said...

Holy Moses...what will they think of next?

t2ed said...

I don't want to know how you know about the Betty.

I will confess, however, to having heard a song performed by the Uppity Blues Women (awesome by the way) called Silver Beaver about the "joys" of aging.

Micah said...

Ewwwwwwwwwwww.

Guess carpet can match drapes well into one's twilight years.

Kate The Great said...

JAB- I don't know. I guess I should say, I don't really wanna know. So strange...

T2- Well. I am up on all the fashion trends and grooming oddities out there... I must say this is one I won't be employing any time soon.

Micah- Great idea for when I go gray and start hitting on the 19 year olds...