Sin City is temporarily on hiatus... stay tuned!!
I have a confession. I've got no ass.
It's not so much a confession really, since it's very apparent to the world (or at least the half of the world behind me.) But this external pronouncement is somehow an admission of inadequacy in my book.
The thing that separates women from men are their curves. The slight roundness about the hip or the fullness of an ample bosom are two such signifying characteristics. So is a ghetto booty.
I ain't got no ghetto booty.
J-Lo's posterior makes me so jealous.
It's the kind of thing men look at and want to grab on to. Jennifer Lopez's butt even has it's own theme song (okay, so Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back" was several years early), whereas my ass is more reminiscent of the 10,000 Maniacs tune "The Earth Pressed Flat."
There must be other girls with my same dilemma, because a special website is offering relief for flat asses everywhere.
It's called Love My Bubbles and these are their leg bands.
They boost the bum and give us ultra white girls a little more junk in the trunk. A boost for the caboose. A rise in the rump.
So next time you see a really great ass walking around, especially in Lexington, Kentucky, introduce yourself.
It might be me ;)