Monday, January 17, 2005

Random Memos From The Cerebrum

-After meeting him at the company Holiday party:
Bachelorette contestant Chris from Campton, Kentucky is actually a nice guy. The folks at ABC were schmucks for setting him up to be the joke of the show.

-In regards to my diet this weekend:
There's nothing wrong with eating homemade chicken soup and homemade chocolate cake for three days straight. Especially when you're eating them in bed.

-On picking up men:
What's up with guys wanting to just sleep (read: actually catch forty winks) in my bed with me? It's really nice to play the good girl, I am just so surprised that the men I meet as of late are so eager to follow my Virgin Vault laws.

-After a weekend of being "off" the wagon:
So I started drinking again over Christmas. Haven't really done a whole lot of it since then (or over the past year, for that matter) but I had to imbibe a little bit to tolerate some co-workers in my off time (believe me, you'd be drinking too if you had to hang out with the likes of them). It felt really great to not be so self conscious about what I was sipping on (instead of the paranoia of days past, "Do you think everyone will know this is only Diet Coke?") and to actually loosen up a bit. And yes, you can take the party girl out of the party, but you can't take the party out of the girl (no matter what I'm drinking, I contest that I'm always fun.)

-When comparing me to my ex's pregnant wife:
I am way hotter. This is an undisputed fact (after taking an informal survey among some of my co-workers and friends. Am I a bitch for that? Hmmm.) And it made me feel good to see the woman who ended up taking the place in my fantasy that turned into my ex's reality. Thank God those pregnancy tests came out negative two years ago.

-In anticipation of good things:
It's so much fun to be looking forward to a dinner date on the calendar this week. The outing's with a guy with whom I really enjoy talking to... and I have lots of hopes our little night out will be a great time.

-Talking to ghosts of the past:
My freshman year roommate randomly called me up last night. I am SO glad she did. LM was my favorite roommate of all those years at UK, and we pick up instantly where we leave off whenever we talk. LM was the bestest roommate in the world, because she tolerated so many of my wild antics.
(True story: I once peed on her side of the room in a drunken stupor. LM woke up in the middle of the night to seeing my bare, white ass sitting on her bed. She heard the water sloshing and thought I was pouring out the Evian bottle that I kept beside my bed. Noooo. I was peeing on two of her favorite VHS movies. As an actress, LM tells the story with the best delivery... including how I turned around in my sleep and was like, "Why are you bothering me, I'm going to the bathroom," as if to imply she was intruding on this very personal moment in my nocturnal life. I was in one of those sleepwalking states, so try as she might, LM was unable to wake me up before I had a chance to clear out my system. I love it when she delivers the whole punchline to the story... that I turned around and slapped her leg as if to flush the toilet. Really. To this day I am still looking for copies of Say Anything and Some Kind of Wonderful.)
Our conversation last night just -flew by-, and I was shocked when my cell phone informed me upon hanging up that it was an actually a three hour talk session. Those are absolutely the best. I am investigating visiting this dear friend of mine now, she lives in Asheville NC, which is only a few hour car ride from Central KY. I promise I won't drink too much liquid before I go to bed.

On thoughts I haven't pondered in a while:
Boy, I sure do miss my grandparents. I was walking through my shotgun apartment when I passed my Papa's old golfclubs. They're a nice, old set of Mars clubs, complete with woods made of real wood. How crazy is that? Anyway. My dad brought them to me so I can get them cut down and take them out to the driving range (Tangent: I really want to take up golf. I pity the poor suckers who actually play a few games with me before I get better than I am now!). I hadn't rifled through the dusty bag since my dad brought it here in November. I unzippered a few of the compartments and found hundreds of brightly colored tees and odd golf balls with oil company names and matchbooks from resorts I've never heard of. Ohhh... I just burst into tears. My grandpa was -such- a packrat... and seeing all this stuff he collected probably 20 years ago just sent me back to those days playing at Nana and Papa's house in Ohio. Wow, they really loved me... and I didn't realize just how much I loved them until they were already gone. I know this is a crazy thought, but do you think our loved ones can "see" us still alive on earth? My grandma passed on before I ever made it to college, and my grandpa died during my junior year in college. I sometimes wonder if they'd be proud of me, if they'd be excited to hear about my career and the things I do in this crazy life 'o mine. Hmm. Something to think about.


Pink Poppy said...

Wow! What a loaded post! Being the good big sister that I am, I will simply say:
1) I think they made him the joke BECAUSE he was nice.
2) Sounds divine.
3) I had a few of those, as well. I thought I invented the Co-Ed slumber party. Or was that Al Gore, too?
4) I was never much of a drinker. I never felt weird about not drinking. And my friends (especially the guys) got a kick out of saying, "Here's your beer. And your beer. AND YOUR MOUNTAIN DEW! And your wine cooler...". I think it's a difference of perspective. All of my friends "drank". Every one. But I only rarely drank--and only three or four times in public. But I never judged those who did. And they returned the favor.
5) No doubt. And imagine being HER...
6) Have Fun!
7) "Old friends are like old wine--they just get better with age, and are all the more valuable."
8) Awww...I hate to see my Kate so melancholy. And, yes, I believe they CAN see us...

Hope your week is a good one.

Michael Hickerson said...

Those foolish, foolish men who assume that being in your bed is only for sleeping....

Their loss...

And there is nothign wrong with playing the comparison game. Have ya heard the Fleming and John song, "Ugly Girl"? Girl runs into ex and new chick at grocery store and at one point says, "I'd be better thinking you were queer..." LOL

Always makes me laugh.

Micah said...

"Ugly Girl" is an EXCELLENT song:

When I saw you at the grocery store
you were sharing a shopping cart with her
and I couldn't turn and run away
I didn't know what to say
you introduced us for the first time
and I had to look her in the eye
but you could not imagine my surprise

can't you see you're leaving me for an ugly girl
does she talk about politics and all the stuff that used to make me sick
does she smoke cigars and stay up late oh she's so great
does she tell you what you want to hear
and I bet that she can grow a beard
I'd feel better thinking you were queer
it's not fair I can't compare to an ugly girl

ha ha ha the jokes on me
I feel jealous and I feel mean
is she so nice that it makes up for her face there's no way
do you have to keep your eyes closed
do you have to keep the lights down low
oh I bet you wish you had a blindfold can't you see
you're leaving me for an ugly girl

if you want a copy, you know who to ask...

spydrz said...

Asheville is should go!