I don't even know him and I am already nervous. The kind of nervous where I can't eat - which is pretty damn miraculous considering I am always ready to eat.
Nervous and yet surprised because I kind of don't care. I mean, not in him as a person because I try to have a general respect and interest in all of humanity, more like an I don't care in the way that this feels like number 57621 in a long list of first dates. A first date - blind date.
Oh, what a doozy.
OMG. Swirling in my head: will I be wearing the right outfit? Is this guy going to be something completely different from what he says he is over the phone?
Do I need to go to the bathroom right now? How about if I take a Valium?
Do I even know anybody with Valium?
And why does there have to be all this hype over a first date in modern 21st century Western World culture?
Right now I'm torn between downing a glass of merlot (Miles, lots of people actually like merlot) and half assing it and swaggering in to our particular meeting spot with my ripped up jeans and my red glasses on. Because some people think girls in glasses are cute, right?
And for all my pent up tension, all my nervous anticipation - I realize I am in a wholly unoriginal situation. Practically everybody and their mother has been on a first date. And congrats to that mother because obviously she was successful with her first date (but hopefully not *too* successful, because that would make an awful Lifetime movie starring Tracey Gold).
Everyone's been on a first date. That doesn't make it any less freaking scary.